Like most girls, I have always wanted to look nice and have the "cool" clothes. However, this has never been the case.
Lets take a mental snapshot of me in elementary school. My typical outfit consisted of stirrup pants, keds, matching top, and side ponytail. Even though it was the 80's this was still pretty bad. I was pretty obsessed with my stirrup pants (you know, the ones that have the strap around the feet to hold them down). I think I had stirrup pants in every color of the rainbow but my favorite were my purple ones. I always wore keds shoes because my feet were so narrow and those were the only shoes made for kids in narrow sizes. They were also slip on so I didn't have to worry about tying my shoes. I threw in a tie dye shirt every now and then, scrunched up on the side with a rubber-band of course. I also wore big tube socks in matching colors and rolled them down into donuts around my ankles. Not scrunched mind you, rolled. I was quite a site. The side ponytail was like icing on the vomit that was my outfit. My hair came down to my butt so I often wore a long high ponytail right on the side of my head, decorated with a matching ribbon or scrunchy of course.
Then came middle school. I decided to try jeans out for the first time in my life. I had never worn them previously because I didn't like the feel of denim. Touching denim is like jeans on a chalk board to me. I am actually flinching a little in pain just thinking about it. My middle school attire consisted of high water jeans, platform clodhopper shoes, and a big baggy sweatshirt of some kind. I remember my favorite being a bright pink sweater with black spots. I wore that sweater until the holes forming in it were so big half my boob was hanging out. I also liked the giant black sweatshirt with the neon yellow smiley face on it. Anything big enough to "hide" what I thought was a hideous figure. I ended up just looking like a whale. The shoes didn't help. I bought my shoes at Bakers so they were the only stylish thing I owned. I had one pair that were brown platform clogs with flowers stitched onto the front. They were huge and made a loud clacking noise as I walked down the tile hallways at school. While my shoes were stylish, they did not go with the jeans and over-sized tops I was wearing. I was dressed up only from the feet down.
Now consider high school when I went through my all-black faze. I literally wore black pants every day. Most of the time paired with a black or otherwise darkly colored top. I still wore my stylish shoes but what teenager wears black dress pants to school every day?
College caused a huge change in not only myself but also my wardrobe. I started dressing quite hoochy in college. Most of the time if my boobs weren't hanging out, my ass was. It was low cut tops and miniskirts daily. In fact, I'm pretty sure my bra saw quite a bit of sunlight in those years.
While my style has changed over the years, my fashion sense has not. I still love my shoes but have no idea what I am doing when it comes to the clothes. Anyone willing to give me a makeover and pay for the whole thing would be greatly welcomed.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Let's talk about love
Ok, so this post is hopefully not so much funny as it is sweet and cute. Why? Because this is the story of meeting my husband.
A long, long time ago....or, you know, 2003, I was working at the mall. Typical college job....kind of. Instead of working at some cute clothing store, I was working at customer service. You know, the kiosk in the middle of the mall where you go for directions or to rent a stroller for your unruly brat. And of course, this job entailed wearing a bright red (possibly the brightest red in existence) blazer, white button up shirt, and cheap black polyester pants. Oh, and did I mention that they couldn't find a blazer and shirt in my size so I was wearing one three sizes too big for me? Well, I was. Any how, part of my job was to report any problems to the mall security and basically tell them where to go and what to do. We had fun walkie talkies and code numbers and everything. For mall security! Well it just so happens that my future husband decided it was a good time to be a mall security guard.
I first saw him while I was helping set up for a kid's event in the mall's center court area. I was setting up some chairs when my boss pointed to a security guard in the distance and said that was the new security guy. I looked up but he was so far away that all I really saw was the back of a head covered in stick straight white-blonde hair poofing out almost wanting to be an afro. Later that day I was introduced and noted that this new security guard was actually someone close to my age and cute. That was a rare occurrence. Usually the mall security consisted of old fat guys that couldn't cut it as cops. And, was I mistaken or was this new cute guy flirting with me? I really was thinking that because I had never been flirted with so I wasn't really sure.
Over the next few weeks my new cute security guard always made sure to stop by and talk as he made his rounds past my kiosk. I was pretty sure now that he was flirting but he hadn't asked me out yet. Maybe it was the blimp sized red blazer I was sporting? Well, finally after work one day I was walking to my car when I saw something strange in the parking lot. No, it was not some huge romantic gesture by my new found cutie. It was a giant hot dog. Really. The Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile was parked outside for an event the I was unaware of. It was a giant mobile home sized hot dog on wheels. As I walked past, marveling at the giant wiener, I almost didn't notice the security truck creeping up behind me. Low and behold it was my security guard out on parking lot patrol stopping by to chat. We talked quite a while about the wienermobile and finally after what seemed like a lifetime he mentioned that a group of people were going to a movie that night if I wanted to join. I can't remember what movie it was for but I immediately panicked. I had been waiting for this guy to ask me out for weeks and now that he was finally doing it, I didn't know what to say. I tried to play it cool and told him I would try to make it but wasn't sure if I had time. Acting busy is what a girl is suppose to do right? He said that was cool and drove off.
So, that's it. That's how I met my husband. Oh, you want to know how the date went? Well, I didn't go to the movie. I chickened out. Hey, I said this was the story of how we met, not how he asked me out! That story, you will have to wait a while longer for.
A long, long time ago....or, you know, 2003, I was working at the mall. Typical college job....kind of. Instead of working at some cute clothing store, I was working at customer service. You know, the kiosk in the middle of the mall where you go for directions or to rent a stroller for your unruly brat. And of course, this job entailed wearing a bright red (possibly the brightest red in existence) blazer, white button up shirt, and cheap black polyester pants. Oh, and did I mention that they couldn't find a blazer and shirt in my size so I was wearing one three sizes too big for me? Well, I was. Any how, part of my job was to report any problems to the mall security and basically tell them where to go and what to do. We had fun walkie talkies and code numbers and everything. For mall security! Well it just so happens that my future husband decided it was a good time to be a mall security guard.
I first saw him while I was helping set up for a kid's event in the mall's center court area. I was setting up some chairs when my boss pointed to a security guard in the distance and said that was the new security guy. I looked up but he was so far away that all I really saw was the back of a head covered in stick straight white-blonde hair poofing out almost wanting to be an afro. Later that day I was introduced and noted that this new security guard was actually someone close to my age and cute. That was a rare occurrence. Usually the mall security consisted of old fat guys that couldn't cut it as cops. And, was I mistaken or was this new cute guy flirting with me? I really was thinking that because I had never been flirted with so I wasn't really sure.
Over the next few weeks my new cute security guard always made sure to stop by and talk as he made his rounds past my kiosk. I was pretty sure now that he was flirting but he hadn't asked me out yet. Maybe it was the blimp sized red blazer I was sporting? Well, finally after work one day I was walking to my car when I saw something strange in the parking lot. No, it was not some huge romantic gesture by my new found cutie. It was a giant hot dog. Really. The Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile was parked outside for an event the I was unaware of. It was a giant mobile home sized hot dog on wheels. As I walked past, marveling at the giant wiener, I almost didn't notice the security truck creeping up behind me. Low and behold it was my security guard out on parking lot patrol stopping by to chat. We talked quite a while about the wienermobile and finally after what seemed like a lifetime he mentioned that a group of people were going to a movie that night if I wanted to join. I can't remember what movie it was for but I immediately panicked. I had been waiting for this guy to ask me out for weeks and now that he was finally doing it, I didn't know what to say. I tried to play it cool and told him I would try to make it but wasn't sure if I had time. Acting busy is what a girl is suppose to do right? He said that was cool and drove off.
So, that's it. That's how I met my husband. Oh, you want to know how the date went? Well, I didn't go to the movie. I chickened out. Hey, I said this was the story of how we met, not how he asked me out! That story, you will have to wait a while longer for.
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