I am and have always been a goody goody. I did everything my mom asked, I got good grades, I never misbehaved, and didn't really lie. That is until 5th grade.
5th grade was a hard year for me, I had been moved into honors math which was a nightmare for me. I didn't really think I belonged there and my grades reflected as such. I was most definitely the dumbest kid in honors math. Being that it was such a struggle, I spent most of my nights working on the homework and studying for math tests. This, of course, caused my other grades to go down. I was still doing well in my other classes but I was definitely not giving them the attention they needed.
I always looked forward to seeing my test grades. After all, they were almost always A's so why wouldn't I be excited. I enjoyed knowing that I had done well. I was never pressured to get good grades but my mother was always pleased when I did. Well, one day I was sitting in science class gleefully awaiting the return of a test we had taken when it happened. The teacher placed the test in front of me and I saw something I had never seen. It was a C! I had never gotten a C. I wasn't expecting a C. I knew I hadn't studied much but I never studied much for tests. I was horrified and immediately hid my test so no one else would see it. Of course it got worse. I was reminded by the teacher that any test score of C or lower needed to be signed by a parent and returned the next day. What? I had never had to have a test signed before. What was my mother going to say? She never commented on my grades but they had never been bad before. I know a C is not the end of the world but to me in the 5th grade, it was.
I got home from school to find my mother in bed with a washcloth over her forehead. I knew what that meant. She had a migraine. Again. My mother seemed to always have a migraine when I was a kid. And I knew better than to talk to her when she had a migraine. It was bad enough having to talk to her about my C but now she didn't feel good on top of it. I decided that maybe my teacher would forget to collect the test. I mean, she had never collected a signed one back from me before so she would never remember right?
The next day in class I was nervous, and sweaty and couldn't focus on anything. When we got to science the teacher inevitably asked everyone to get out their tests from the previous day. I scrambled to get mine out, and in a panic, decided to forge my mother's signature. My mother's signature is not just one of those scribbles that doesn't look like a name. Of course, hers is legible, bubbly and a confusing mix of print and cursive. I've never seen anything like it in my day. And, being a 5th grader, I was not an expert forger of signatures. I did my best to recreate my mom's name and when the teacher came by, I turned in my monstrosity.
I thought I was clear and free. We went on with class and I started to relax. It was at the end of class that the teacher approached me and asked if I had signed my mom's name on my test? Turning bright red immediately I couldn't try to lie. I admitted to signing it myself but said that I had told my mom about it but had to sign it for her because she was in bed sick and could not sign it herself. That was only a slight lie right? An exaggeration if you will. Well, my teacher didn't buy it. She told me to tell my mother to be expecting a call from her to verify my story. Now what was I supposed to do?
I left school in a panic and once I got home I immediately started crying and blurted everything out to my mom. And do you know what she did? She laughed at me! She thought it was hilarious that I had made up such a story. When the teacher called, she verified my story (to the teacher's shock I'm sure) and we went to get ice cream. Clearly, lying is awesome. I got all upset for no reason. My mom was not upset about the C and said she knew I would do better next time. She told me not to lie next time but I secretly think she really enjoyed it.
So, what lesson did I learn. Lying makes my mom happy. Good to know. I got much better at "exaggerating" as the years went on and never got caught by a teacher again. But to this day I still can not successfully forge my mother's name.
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